03.20.2012

Peter was born on a Tuesday at 12:35 P.M. The moment they brought him into the room and I saw him I cried.  It was such an emotional moment that the nurses cried right along with me.

It all began after our 35 week scare. I had been told by my Dr. that if anything else where to happen Peter would be born. And so, my little boy decided it was time to rest and stopped any attempt to come early.  At 38 weeks we had our last check up (Never in my mind had I dreamed of making it that far into my pregnancy). Everything was perfect. It was as if the last 9 weeks had never happened. The Dr. suggested to wait for the 39th week and then induce. I was terrified of anything going wrong at the last minute. I had heard and read so many stories of babies that stopped moving all of a sudden in the last days, that in my mind I just couldn’t take it anymore. I felt deep in my heart that if we waited any longer Peter would not make it.  So I told the Dr. I wasn’t going to wait anymore, I wanted Peter to be born as soon as possible. She was reluctant but she conceded. I was to go to the Clinic on Monday night (It was Friday), and I was to be induced at 1 a.m so that if everything went according to plan Peter would come at mid-day.

On Monday night Phillip and I left home and checked into the Clinic. We were high on happiness. I can still recall the emotion we felt at the moment. Such a rush, such joy, such love for each other, for Peter, for the family we were about to become.   At 1 a.m sharp a Dr. came into the room. He explained  the procedure and told us  that it would take about 12 hours for the whole process to be complete. He gave me the drugs and left. I started feeling contractions at about 5 a.m in the morning. At first it was nothing.  Contractions? Pfff Come get me! No thanks, I’ll do without the drugs!! At 10 a.m when our families started to arrive they had escalated to the point where everyone had to stop speaking just so I could concentrate on my breathing. I was told to walk them off, so I did. At first with Phillip and then with my father. Hand in hand down the corridors, Peter, my father and I. We spoke about what was about to happen. He told me he loved me and that he was proud of me  A nurse came  looking for us and told me my Dr. had arrived to check on me. It was 11:45 a.m. I kissed my father goodbye and told him next time I saw him Peter would be with us, I couldn’t hide my excitement.

The Dr. was waiting for me when I entered the room. She checked me and told me everything was moving along perfectly. Peter would be born in about and hour. She told me she was glad I had opted for a Natural Birth since with everything that had happened she was sure I was going to ask for a Cesarean one instead. I hadn’t been given the epidural yet, so she called the anesthesiologist and told him I was ready.  She told the nurse to prepare the room for the procedure and left. I got back in bed. From the moment we checked in to the clinic I was never left alone in the room, there was always some family member there keeping me company, but for some reason at that precise moment, when everything went wrong I was alone.

It came all of a sudden. It happened so fast. A gush of water. My water must have broken. Only it wasn’t water. Peter’s heart went up. I was waiting alone for the anesthesiologist. Help! Help us! A nurse came in, saw me and ran out. The on call Dr. came in, she told me to lie down and checked me, but still more blood , the bed, the floor, the room. Peter. Peter’s heart. 190 Beats. I was sobbing. Please help! 2 Nurses came in. They looked at me and told me to relax, for Peter’s sake relax. They told me to breathe. I did. But still more blood. My mother came in. Mom, there is something wrong, I was shaking. She had seen the blood there was no need for me to tell her. Phillip came in. I love you, there is something wrong. My Dr. came in. Help us.

Peter was born in 12 minutes. That’s how long it took since the moment my Dr. came into the room, to the moment he was pronounced born alive. The moment she saw me she said: That kid is going to be born now no matter what! She yelled at the nurses to take me to surgery and to prepare everything. We would be right behind them. They wheeled me into the room. I couldn’t speak. I was terrified. I looked around and saw about 30 people screaming at each other, only I couldn’t understand a thing.  They had just ended a c-section so all the staff was there, even the anesthesiologist (I was later told that if it hadn’t been for that, Peter and I wouldn’t have made it). People in scrubs would come up to me and tell me everything was going to be ok. I nodded. Stunned. They cut off my pajamas, there wasn’t even time to get me undressed. I was silent. The anesthesiologist came over from behind with the mask in his hand. I’m scared, I told him. Don’t worry love, he said, that’s what we’re here for. Get the father out of here! He can’t see this!  He stroke my hair and I fell asleep.

Phillip got lost in the confusion. He was told he could watch, so he was given scrubs. He entered the room and stood on one side. With everything going on no one noticed him. It wasn’t until they were about to cut that they saw him and started screaming for him to be taken out. He waited outside the door. At 12.40 P.M a nurse came out and told him Peter had been born. He was alive, but asleep. They didn’t know for sure what his state was. They asked if he wanted to see him, so they brought him over. Our baby boy was alive. He asked about me, and they told him they weren’t done yet. They would let him know as soon as possible. They wheeled Peter to the NICU and told Phillip to go with them. He waited for 2 hours before they told him Peter had waken up and everything  seemed ok.

I woke up to the face of a nurse staring at me.

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