How do you mend a Broken Heart?

16 Nov

We’re thinking about changing Peter’s Dr. I recently wrote a post talking about how in love with him we were. Unfortunately things have changed. I haven’t made up my mind and we have until Monday to choose: Advice welcome.

Here’s what happened:

It all began almost a month ago at Peter’s 7 month checkup. I went alone because Phillip was away for two weeks on a business trip. When I arrived at the Doctor’s office there was a little girl in the waiting room about 2 years old with the most terrible flu you have ever seen. My Hypochondria immediately kicked in, and so my brain refused to sit in the same room as the girl with the “Ebola Virus*”. I was afraid Peter might catch her flu, so as soon as I saw the girl I closed the door and stood outside until it was our time to come in. I later realized it might have been slightly rude to close the door on a sick baby and her mother. But my fear of illness is greater than my sense of civism. Only thing was, Peter’s Doctor saw me close the door, so he knew we were outside the whole time. I don’t know if this is the reason we started the appointment with the wrong foot. But since it went so bad I’m considering all the possibilities.

After about ten minutes of waiting outside we were called into the Doctors office. The little girl still in the waiting room. When we went in. Peter’s Doctor was different. I mean his attitude towards us had changed from our last appointment. He was more serious and less patient with my monthly list . While he was checking Peter he called a fellow doctor to tell him he was leaving the next day on a trip (he said he was going to solve a family matter and he was dreading the whole thing) and he needed someone to look after the little girl. She was very sick and he was afraid of leaving her without support. When he hung up he wrote the name of the Dr. on a piece of paper and left to check on the girl. Unfortunately for us, as soon as he came in, he asked if Peter had gotten any teeth yet, and put his (unwashed) hand inside his mouth. I knew it as soon as it happened: The virus had found a new victim.

The rest of the appointment went fine. The Doctor remained serious the whole time. Not even Peter’s smile broke the ice. I left feeling uneasy. Like I had done something wrong. I went over the appointment in my head. I realize how crazy this sounds that I care this much about Peter’s Dr. But as I said before he is my anchor to sanity, so it broke my heart. I guess he had a lot on his mind with his trip the next day, and the little girl, but still.

The next day, things went from bad to worse in our Doctor, baby, mother relationship.  Peter woke up with a terrible cough and a stuffy nose. He had caught the virus. I knew the Doctor had left the country so there was no way of calling him. Phillip was still on his business trip so that meant I had to deal with Peter’s first illness all by myself (He also got his two bottom teeth that day, so double the fun). I resorted to writing to him via WhatsUp. I wrote that Peter was ill, and explained the symptoms, cough, nose, fever. I asked for advice on what to do. I got no answer. I wrote to him again, as things got worse with Peter. No answer. You might be thinking he probably didn’t get my text since he was out of the country.  Thing is, I know he saw them. You see,  WhatsUp  tells you if your message was received and when was the last time the person used the chat (Cyber Stalking). So I knew he had seen my messages. But I never got an answer. We were going on a trip abroad ourselves in 3 days, and I was afraid of travelling so far away with a sick baby. I remembered the name of the Doctor he had referred the little girl to. So I called. I got an appointment the next day. I took Peter and explained the situation. I left out the little girl story. He looked at Peter and told me he had an ear infection and needed antibiotics. He said we were just in time of treating it before the plane ride, so good thing I came in. He gave me his number and told me to call him and tell him how things were going.

I fell in love. I knew it would happen (after all he’s a doctor and was looking after Peter). But what charmed me most was the fact that I could see a lot of Phillip in him. He is this sweet man, with long white hair, a little crazy in the eyes, and a Let it be philosophy, that just reminded me of my husband. I called him a few times to ask questions and let him know how things were evolving with Peter. We went on our trip, and Peter got better as the days went by.

When we got home I made an appointment with him so that he could check Peter’s ears, but mostly so that Phillip could meet him. He fell in love (I knew it would happen). He gave us lots of advice and spoke to us as if we were with him for the long run. So now we have a big decision to make. Philip says we should switch to the new Dr. I’m not sure.

I don’t know what I want. I’ve thought all week about why this has become such a difficult decision for me to make and this is what I realized: I don’t want to tell Peter’s birth story again. I don’t want to look in to his face and read or hear something might be wrong. So far Peter’s Dr. has assured us we don’t have to worry. I don’t want that to change. I’m afraid.

We’re out of time. Peter’s monthly appointment with his old Dr. is on Monday so by then I have to have an answer. I’ll tell you my decision next week!


*The flu Peter caught is now referred to in our family as the Ebola Virus, since it spread like wildfire: First to me, then my mother, then Phillip, and finally to my father in law (all of us in a week).

** I do believe its rude to leave a room if someone is sick. But I just can’t help myself. In my defense, when I’m sick, and when Peter was sick I stayed outside with him so that no other children would catch it.

*** I’m so glad to be back and writing!! Cheers!!


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